Sunday, January 9th, 2005...2:47 pm

Summernats is completely the bomb and I utterly heart it

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The Sunday Canberra Times and I agree. The leering yobbos of the past seem to have stopped coming to Summernats or smartened up their acts. Without people pissing on your shrubs and rooting in your driveway, Summernats is a totally choice way to dump $20 million into the local economy over a long weekend.

I mean, how can you be sad about a bit of revving and fireworks when this pulls up next to you at the lights?

Or this. You may just be able to make out the numberplate – it’s TOEYV8. Noice. The special Summernats supplement in the paper today featured some of the more “creative” plates around – like TITS LOW, VL2DY4, ITSSIK , V8MUSL and – my favourite – LOW O1Q. Indeed.

The newspaper snappers didn’t get all the good numberplates. To do they would have had to leave Exhibition Park and cruise the titty bars of nearby Mitchell. Which is what I did to find Q2PERV. Lovely, isn’t it?

Thoughtfully, such venues provide transport for inebriated rev-heads.

The security guy with the waving on wand outside Exhibition Park was very apologetic about us being stuck behind the mini bus, but I was too busy wondering if anyone really thought they would find “Brigett” at a Canberra pole dancing joint. (Although you never know, it is the sector’s busiest time of the year. We even have to import tarts from Sydney.)

It looks like so much fun I think we should all go next year and compete. I have given a little run down of some of the more popular events below to help you chose your category.

BURNOUTS

“They put water on the track to start with … what the judges look for is instant smoke, and you need a dry surface to do that. [Debbie Gray, overall winner in 2001] said budding burnout masters should control the car as it was driven down to the burnout pad, keeping the wheel-speed high but the speed of the car low.”

The aim is to blow out both tyres – “That’s what you want,” [husband and 2003 champ Peter Gray] said, “blow one, and the crowd will love you. Blow two, and you’re a god.”

GO TO WHOA

Is where you start fast as buggery and stop on a white line 100 metres away. Summernats announcer Milton Adey says: “Go to whoa’s a nice, safe club event. It shows the driving skill, gets you out in front of the crowd … but you don’t have to hurt your car, burnouts are a bit severe.”

MISS SUMMERNATS

Won this year by 23 Tania Lazarou, a trainee neurosurgeon Qantas trolley dolly from Northern Sydney who placed third last year. “I do like to think it was my personality and confidence” Tania said. Which makes sense to me. On the other hand, it is possible that it was her fantastic legs and big tits which got her over the line.

* Quotes are from Saturday’s Canberra Times and bugger me if I can be bothered digging up the individual links after arsing around with stupid Picassa (Hello? Hello?) for fourteen hours.

16 Comments

  • ok, i admit to being a grouch and reading yr post makes me think I’d almost like to take a walk around the show. What I really want is to have queer eye replaced with MTV’s hit makeover show “pimp my ride” – now that is one i reckon would go down well with the summernats crowd http://www.mtv.com/onair/dyn/pimp_my_ride/series.jhtml

  • Love the burnout recreation photos!

  • My favourite Summernats moment this year was watching one fully sick car plough into the back of another.
    Yeah, those stop lights are tricky, sometimes.
    But of course the blame really lies with the girl in the short, tight, white skirt walking beside the road!

  • That’s the ugliest trolly-dolly I have EVER seen, and I’ve been in the pointy end of a QF1 flight.

  • Gee Fyodor, I am seriously jealous. For some reason Qantas doesn’t like to upgrade short tubby dishevelled tatty ratbags carrying a prehistoric laptop even if they threaten to blog about the rejection. Sigh.
    Those cars are great. Since I live about half a kilometre away from the grand prix track, this is giving me ideas. So if you see a news report about a short tubby dishevelled tatty ratbag carrying a prehistoric laptop and arrested for stealing toys from children, you will know the whole thing was inspired by you.
    You could have a tee shirt: I inspire crime.

  • David, I would love such a shirt! But if I needed toy cars (which I 100% DO NOT) I would go to target and a HOT WHEELS (TM) gift pack of five cars for $10.
    I won’t believe the news stories unless they mention the recently discontinued Italian walking shoes.
    And the cotton wool was inspired by Miss Ta-naya Sully, 10, who won the kid’s crazy hat competition. “She [Ta-naya] is a real little rev-head,” her mother, Julie, said.” I didn’t make up that name, BTW.

  • David, the trick is to check in with a business class ticket about 15 minutes after the flight has “closed”, and after they’ve given away your seat, leaving only the over-priced first class seats free for you to take. It’s a risky manoeuvre, and best attempted accidentally ;-)
    You haven’t missed much, however, as the service actually gets worse: the fawning aged poofs and superannuated dragons that serve the pointy end make your skin crawl.

  • I am so tempted to go next year. Great post!

  • My advice: Ditch Picassa altogether. I simply upload my pics to a free geocities site and link from there.
    You don’t get those nice borders of course.

  • I can live without the borders. I tried photobucket on the advice of Sedge but I couldn’t drive it, either. Must try harder.

  • Here’s some handy image hosting information. It’s made for a different site, so ignore the first option but look at the rest.

  • back in the day I remember a WRX with the plate FULSIK.
    seek maat.

  • The best one I have seen was in country Victoria: MMMBEER

  • Thanks, Evil. You are a gentleman amongst death beasts.
    I’m glad you’re visiting.

  • Just one small thing. It was not those ‘yobbos’ ‘smartening up their acts’. That is not what happened at all. It was that the government eventually conceded that – even though there was millions of dollars of municipal revenue at stake – they had to do something about that fully one month when it wasn’t safe to walk the streets. I don’t think the government should get even a pat on the back for that, having turned a blind eye for years and years, caring not for law and order but only profit. No ‘yobbos’ ‘smartened up’ any ‘acts’; they just stopped coming here and making everyone’s life (women’s in particular) a total misery, when our local government FINALLY did what was right, and instructed the police to follow their lead. That we can actually enjoy and appreciate the marvellous show of virtuoso that is Summernats is not something to be proud of, as such.

  • Oh, come on. I can see it still bugs you, because you’ve found a five year old blog post on a neglected blog to comment on, but was never “fully one month when it wasn’t safe to walk the streets”. I remember ye olden days too, when Dickson pool was pretty unpleasant, etc, but it was never for more than a couple of days and for many years was in tandem with NYE (with its own accompanying yobbishness).

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