crazybrave

The cherry trees are starting to blossom and the lilacs are swelling. It was still frosty this morning, but it’s slowly getting warmer.

Pavlov’s Cat has been out having an pre-spring frenzy, and was moved to post a delightful sonnet on her garden. It inspired this one from me:

Garden Sonnet

Four scratching chooks, a busted trampoline,
wasteland veggie gardens – one each side.
An old and sooky kelpie, long past lean,
sleeps underneath the table, always tired.
The hills hoist, weighted down with tiny clothes,
spins slowly over scratchy dried out grass.
The sprinker’s somewhere – busted, I suppose.
We’ve watering restrictions, can’t be arsed.
Beneath the wint’ry fruitless fruiting trees,
discarded toys are scattered left and right;
a sandpit of old brown papery leaves;
a rusty drum for fires on cold nights.
My iron claw foot bath sits near the door -
I soak, survey and do not dream of more.

Mummy and Daddy have got a very special surprise for you. You might have been wondering why Mum’s been eating lots of dry biscuits, eyeing off Dad’s wine and anybody at all’s cigarette while endlessly complaining about being tired and not playing soccer anymore. Well, you’re going to have a little brother or sister! Yay!

Mum will go to the Birth Centre to have the baby, and I’ll be a fucking shambles bit sore and tired for a while after it comes. Would you believe that babies come out of their Mummy’s gineup*? I didn’t think so. We’ll probably bring home the little baby the next day, and you’ll discover a whole new world. Of it not being your turn yet. Babies are lots of fun. So it will be great. After a while. At first it will be a bit hard and Dad and especially Mum will be braindead and distractedVERY busy looking after the baby.

You will need to be gentle and loving to the baby. All the time. Even if you’re very cranky, or tired, or hungry, or sad or bored. Mum will try and do the same for both of you, God help me.You’ll get to practice sharing a lot. Mainly Mum at first but sooner than you think possible all of your possessions too.

But when the baby gets a bit bigger you’ll have a playmate and someone to dob on and fight with in the back of the car on long trips. Mummy and Daddy will still love you just as much, we always will it just won’t feel that way.

With all my love

Mummy

* genuine Sage word

Being a post in honour of Miss Lucy Tartan’s “Hot Statutory Pron!” , a series at Sorrow at Sill’s Bend which guides us through the open air sculpture of Melbourne. She’s encouraged others to join in, but I have until now resisted, due to the calibre of most of the sculpture in Canberra being what it is (oh, and me knowing bugger all about sculpture except what I don’t like).

There’s something really nice about working at my old university – the rush of nostalgia that comes from cycling past old haunts or seeing the same dishes (and very possibly the same actual food) at the Asian Bistro, that kind of caper.

Of course, much has changed and there are sometimes surprises lurking in the bushes.

Can you see it lurking?

Here, little bit closer – see it now?

Yeah, that’s right – behind the monkey bars!

What the devil- it’s Winston Churchill!

This statue, a cast of the one opposite the Palace of Westminster in London, used to grace Churchill House on Northbourne Avenue. Churchill House seems to have relocated and brought Winston with them. He was quite tucked away at his old home, but you would have to be VERY dedicated to find him here.

There’s a special reason I am so fond of this statue. A million moons ago when the sweet’n'sour pork was first gracing the Asian Bistro’s bain marie, my best mate’s housemate was going out with a Liberal party staffer. For a rather high profile and horrid MP. (I know! She couldn’t evict her, she was there first.) The boyfriend went on to grace the inner circle of the Prime Minister and – but I musn’t, for I’m not whispering this in your ear at the pub, am I?

Anyhow, said boyfriend/staffer shared his later boss’ enormous respect and affection for Winston Churchill. But also liked a bit of outdoor romance. And why not combine the things you love? Even if it is on Northbourne Avenue.

I wonder whether he had a hand in moving the statute to this much more discreet location?

I wonder if she held onto his foot?

Did she cry out, and what did she say?

And what do you think John Winston’s saying here?

My much-loved new car sticker. The post title is a quote from the man himself.

This being an “energy superpower” caper – is it any different to our old standby of “selling rocks to the furriners”?

Because the White belongs to us!

Laura has proposed a Patrick White reading circle at Sarsaparilla.

This endeavour will provide opportunities to stick it to The Man at The Australian while talking about a good book with interesting people.*

A Big Brother style vote is being conducted in comments at the linked post – so go and nominate which works to save or evict and then hunt yourself down a copy. And does anyone know what that pug is so cut about?

* Also bad puns there for the taking.

The last item in “The Diary” in the media section of today’s Australian was so good it roused me from my sickbed to share it:

ANGELA Shanahan is distressed to have been dumped as a columnist for The Canberra Times. On Monday the new editor, Mark Baker, sent her a note sacking her. Shanahan, wife of The Australian’s political editor Dennis Shanahan, describes Baker’s actions as “censorship” because of her views on the ACT’s gay marriage bill, which stirred up a lot of debate among readers. “This would be the equivalent of The Australian sacking Janet Albrechtsen or Phillip Adams, just because some people didn’t like them,” Shanahan tells Diary. Baker says he discontinued Shanahan’s column after reviewing all the opinion writers. Baker, a former deputy editor, opinion editor and diplomatic editor of The Age, became editor last month following the departure in March of the contentious Michael Stevens, editor since 2001. Baker, who promises to reverse the Crimes’ circulation decline, says Shanahan had two years writing on the paper and it was time for some “fresh voices”. He denies Shanahan’s conservative politics have anything to do with his decision. “She is a person with forthright views and she has every right to express them,” Baker tells Diary. “But I have other people who come from a similar direction to her writing for the paper.”

Yes, “Censorship”! Oh, how I laughed.

Take some personal responsibility, Angela. It’s because you’re not very good.

Did you know that if the Centrelink Child Care assistance talkbot enrages you sufficiently that you tell it to get fucked, it replies “I think you said goodbye. Is that correct?”

136150 if you don’t believe me. Their website, btw, is even worse. If a person with two university degrees and a website can’t negotiate it, I don’t think it’s good enough. Fortunately if you do manage to get through to a human, they are always helpful and polite.

I was ringing them because they sent us a letter saying “here’s what we estimate for your income next year, answer us to change it or do nothing if you agree with us”. It was more or less right so we did nothing – and then got a scary letter to the effect that we hadn’t answered them, so they might take our benefit away, BOOGOODA BOOGOODA!

Perhaps it’s best not to try to interact with these people when you’ve got the flu. I’m giving in and going to bed with some lemon tea.