Thursday, July 13th, 2006...10:35 am
Remember the olden days, when humans used to answer the phone?
Did you know that if the Centrelink Child Care assistance talkbot enrages you sufficiently that you tell it to get fucked, it replies “I think you said goodbye. Is that correct?”
136150 if you don’t believe me. Their website, btw, is even worse. If a person with two university degrees and a website can’t negotiate it, I don’t think it’s good enough. Fortunately if you do manage to get through to a human, they are always helpful and polite.
I was ringing them because they sent us a letter saying “here’s what we estimate for your income next year, answer us to change it or do nothing if you agree with us”. It was more or less right so we did nothing – and then got a scary letter to the effect that we hadn’t answered them, so they might take our benefit away, BOOGOODA BOOGOODA!
Perhaps it’s best not to try to interact with these people when you’ve got the flu. I’m giving in and going to bed with some lemon tea.
8 Comments
July 13th, 2006 at 2:34 am
I am reminded of Billy Connolly: ‘Some people think ‘Fuck off’ means ‘Go away.’ It doesn’t — it means Fuck off!
This post also reminded me of the day I sat in a little cubicle office in the Commonwealth Bank, trying to set up from scratch what I admit was a slightly complicated bunch of accounts. Across the desk was quite a sympathetic real person, who was doing her best with the impenetrable bankspeak, but finally, with my eyes full of tears (of frustration, mainly), I said ‘Look, I’ve got a PhD in English and I didn’t understand a word you just said — how do the struggling punters manage?’
She looked sad. ‘They don’t,’ she said.
July 13th, 2006 at 6:14 am
the Centrelink people you get to speak to may be very nice and polite, but when you’ve rung them 3918273159 times (approx) to explain the situation yet again and ask them to get it right, you realise – they’re very good at doing f*ck all about it. they’re all just passing your case around from person to person, there is no one caseworker in charge of your file, and when problem isn’t solved, it’s your fault, not theirs.
don’t get me started about the polite people at Centrelink.
polite = useless.
July 13th, 2006 at 6:55 am
Bed sounds like a very good idea – hope you feel better soon.
July 13th, 2006 at 8:49 am
HOPEFULLY, the entire negative episode was merely a flu induced delusion.
I recommend sipping whiskey and very salty potato crisps for the throat. Get well soon.
July 13th, 2006 at 11:49 am
I know a few people who work for Centrelink. If you think you’re frustrated, try being in their shoes. And, yes, they still get farked around as well.
July 13th, 2006 at 3:26 pm
aaggh – two university degrees – I could never quite put my finger on it before.
July 14th, 2006 at 1:05 am
I agree with you Boysenberry – I know they get folked around. and I do genuinely mean that they are very nice and polite – I wasn’t being sarky. but the result usually is, that there is no result.
July 15th, 2006 at 1:41 pm
Just for the record – the same response also applies to:
Get Stuffed
Piss off
Fucked up Fembot
Neo maxi Zoom Dweebi
And any number of other foul words & combinations I’ve tried
On the plus side – getting the fembot means that you actually got through. I have suggested a number of times that they transfer some of the people in the queues in their office to the call centre so i won’t keep getting a busy signal – but they don’t listen to that either
Hope you’re feeling better soon.
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