Tuesday, January 2nd, 2007...8:09 pm
Name that prune!
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At Nabakov’s excellent (and until now ignored) suggestion, the first and in all likliehood final crazybrave Name that prune! competition is announced.
The baby allegedly due one week from today is apparently male. There’s a shortlist of about ten names on the fridge so far and nothing settled. I keep finding people have written new and ridiculous ones up there – most lately Owen’s effort “Fontaine”, which is very nearly the most heterosexually challenged name I have ever encountered.
The baby’s surname starts with “A” and the initials “Z”, “O” and “S” are taken. Knock yourselves out …
157 Comments
January 2nd, 2007 at 8:26 pm
Anthony A.. = AA
Aaron Anthony A… = AAA=Triple A rating
Barry Anthony A…=Baa
Zolton Steve A..x 2 = Zsa Zsa
Biggy A..= “Give him the big a”
Larry Anthony Laurence A..= LaLa
Fuckin A..= Fuckin A
January 2nd, 2007 at 9:31 pm
‘Shane’.
Hah, no seriously now. Name the little tacker after a drink, it’s the African North American thing to do. Hennessy A.? Laphroaig A.? Brut Cuvee A.? Benedict A.? Pintofstoutamaltchaserandabagofcashews A.?
Enjoy your big spine-needle, Zoe, and breathe that N20 good and deep if they offer it you.
January 2nd, 2007 at 10:39 pm
‘Fontaine’!!??!! Boy is he gonna have the piss taken out of him at school.
How about some sensible names instead like:
Vladimir
Rudyard
Egon
Marcel
Marlow
Golo
Hector
Engelbert
Marius
Champlin
Zardoz
Jo-El
Napoleon
Or how about ‘Senator’? That way, when he grows up and makes a plane or hotel booking, he gets an ungrade without even asking.
And while I take the…um..spirit of DD’s suggestions to heart, I should point out that if you wanna be classical old school here, you name your pets and not your spawn after booze. Although ‘Colt .45′ does have a certain ring to it.
Incidentally, when my godson Oscar was about to become a brother, his parents canvassed everyone about names and the overwhelming response, which they went with, was Felix.
And their house, now inhabited by two boys aged 7 and 4 sounds like a bombing attack and looks like a bombsite. Brace yourselves.
My parents raising two boys of similar age gap went for a variant of the old South Pacific approach ie: seperate quarters out of earshot and eyesight, leave food nearby at regular intervals and let nature take its course a la Lord of The Flies.
Silliness aside though, you gotta admit ‘Rudyard’ has a nice ring to it.
January 2nd, 2007 at 10:42 pm
And you gotta admire me for avoiding the obvious spice and seasoning jokes.
Although ‘Garlic Salt’ would be a good name for someone growing up at a blogger’s knee.
January 2nd, 2007 at 10:44 pm
It might be nice to keep with the plant theme (my daughter is called Ruby & if I’d had more I would have continued with Scarlet, then Cherry). How about Yarrow? I also like Bracken, Cedar & even Lotus. You can’t go wrong with Petal… or maybe you can.
January 2nd, 2007 at 11:00 pm
Or you could investigate a new branch of natural history and call him Garnet. (There’s a Patrick White character called Garnet. Not particularly nice, but Very Virile.)
I’d give Aragorn and Boromir a miss though.
January 2nd, 2007 at 11:13 pm
“it might be nice to keep with the plant theme”
Rhubard
Avocado
Sequoia
Crabgrass
Mango
Venus Flytrap
Turnip
Banyan
Watercress
Durian
Triffid
Beetroot
Wot? Well, you started it Merry.
January 3rd, 2007 at 4:41 am
well, if it’d been a girl you could’ve gone with Prunella of course.
if you’re sticking with the plant theme, how about Weed, the only thing i can grow. Sage and Weed. no, might cause some sibling rivalry there. (still, you’re lucky. having gone with a motorcycle theme, my next kid is gonna have to be Suzuki Q. or perhaps Il Ducati.)
January 3rd, 2007 at 7:54 am
Somehow I think these bloggers are not taking your pleas for name assistance seriously.
I’d just like to add, Nabs forgot to add Black Sapote. And you should think about Cedar because it’s evocative of Lebanon, very suited to the lefty blogger of today. Although it tends to be accompanied by sandalwood.
My serious suggestion is to go for something really unusual. Like Andrew.
January 3rd, 2007 at 8:17 am
how about a name linked to some current events.
drought.
flood.
loadsofbloodyhail
serverisdown
myattachmentisnotbloodytobig
‘Drought A’ is a winner and would def get the little fella free beer occasionally.
Alternatively: how about a political name. Like Tolpuddle.
hmmmm
January 3rd, 2007 at 8:23 am
Basil?
We are struggling with the name thing ourselves, so I won’t really weigh in. Good luck though – I look forward to seeing the first pictures whatever the little one’s name ends up being.
January 3rd, 2007 at 8:25 am
“Balthazar”
Pros:
- not a herb
- Wise [get it?], without being as satanic-sounding as Melchior or as cheesy as Caspar.
- has a “z” in it, for higher Scrabble score, ‘mongst other things
- easily nick’d to “Balta”, with all the ironic fun entailed therein, or “Baz/Bazza”, which is matey in extremis
- can be passed off as Spanish/Portuguese/Swahili to the ignorantly credulous
- will piss off sensible relatives
- will top pretty much all the other weird names in mothers’ group, apart from maybe Susquehannah, but that’s a girl’s name
- ends with a consonant (v. important if surname begins with a vowel)
- jr can play himself in the school nativity play
- Zoroastrians are cool
- good at giving presents
- can be followed by a middle name starting with “R”, e.g. Rodrigo, for acronymic effect
- will know how to spell myrrh
- best of all, the name has its own, ready-made, Goughism: “Fucking Balt!”
Cons:
- too many silly bulls
- picked on for having a stupid name (but you don’t care about that one, do you?)
- will probably end up a rugby-playing young liberal who insists on being called “Barry”
- will make older brother jealous
January 3rd, 2007 at 8:54 am
Thorn & Ash are good planty names. What about Thyme? It has a certain gravitas. Or Sparkle-Pony.
January 3rd, 2007 at 9:25 am
You know, I think I’d seriously second Balthasar, if you’re looking for a good role model.
Baltasar Garzón is a very highly respected Spanish judge, into anti-corruption and such, who amongst other things served the extradition order on Pinochet.
January 3rd, 2007 at 10:10 am
I like Ash too.
Okay, my (potential and purely hypothetical at this point) favourite boys names include:
Will (the name of Mr Kate’s brother sadly so we can’t use it)
Reese (alt Rhys if you want to be all faux Welsh and wanky which probably rules it out full stop whatever the spelling)
Jasper (and that’s why my dog is called Jasper but maybe you don’t like the implication there, plus she is a girl dog)
Casper (for realz!)
Gabriel (I know I’m setting my hypothetical future son up big time with this one, which is why Mr Kate has already nixed it, but then again it’ll be like the Johnny Cash song about a boy called Sue and he’ll grow up all tough and prepared for the world’s slings and arrows. But then he might kill Mr Kate in a bar fight so maybe not)
Benjamin (one of my bro’s has this name already doh)
Harry (don’t let it go to your head harry)
Elijah (I just love little children with old white biblical dude names, so you can include Nathanial and Jacob with that one too)
Jude (heeeeeeey Juuuuude!)
Ethan (no particular reason. Just hope he doesn’t lisp. There’s nothing worse than not being able to say your own name)
Also, these are the ten most popular boys’ names in Australia in 2005 according to some dodgy website:
1. Jack
2. Lachlan
3. William
4. Joshua
5. Thomas
6. James
7. Ryan
8. Daniel
9. Matthew
10. Samuel
January 3rd, 2007 at 10:16 am
I think I’m voting for
Fuckin’ A. That’s awesome.
The Squeeze’s middle name is Felix.
In all seriousness, I would consider…
Michael (simple but nice and shortens to Mick, which I like)
or perhaps Zach.
… and I can’t think of any more. Sorry.
If I were to have a girl child she would be Cloony Grub.
January 3rd, 2007 at 10:21 am
I see prophets, apostles, angels and biblical hangers-on are a constant theme.
How about Mohammed?
January 3rd, 2007 at 10:37 am
Stinkydeadjesus?
Buddhafatwa?
Dissyuvishnu?
Robert?
January 3rd, 2007 at 11:01 am
Gunther.
Siegmund.
Charlemagne.
Zardoz.
Rognvald.
Voyvoydin.
Quentin.
Actually, stick with Quentin, that name rocks.
January 3rd, 2007 at 11:08 am
Osama. Well someone had to say it. Only problem is you could never let him play hide and seek or you might never find him.
If you go with Fyodor’s suggestion, don’t use an R middle name – remember the rules – BRA are not good initials for a little boy.
Biblically, I’ve always liked Noah as a name.
Caleb, Callum, the possibilities are endless. Might be best to see what he looks like when he’s born. Just in case it’s a she!
January 3rd, 2007 at 11:51 am
Llewellyn, Pelleas, Parsifal, Lafe.
Or, if it’s a girl, Goneril. Definitely.
January 3rd, 2007 at 1:32 pm
argh, Balthazar is one of my favourite “Am I brave enough? No, I’m not” names. then again I think the other Wise Men names are almost as gorgeous, Caspar and Melchior.
but I’m not brave enough for those either
I love the name Rhys. The Dinghy would have been Rhys except that, without us ever having talked about children’s name ever ever, my brother calls his son Rhys. another fav is Andreas, but alliteration so rarely works, so maybe not.
Tripitaka?
that way he can be your older Monkey’s bane
January 3rd, 2007 at 2:22 pm
“Tripitaka? That way he can be your older Monkey’s bane”
…and look like a disturbingly hot girl. NTTAWWT.
January 3rd, 2007 at 2:40 pm
Pigsy was by far the coolest of the pilgrims. Tripitaka’s so boring the Japanese had to hit him with the androgyny stick, Sandy might as well not have been there at all, and Monkey’s just an arrogant arse-clown of the first order.
Yeah, go with Pigsy A.
January 3rd, 2007 at 3:14 pm
(Less than) one week from today? Oh my gawd. Hope you have a good one, Zoe, it is better the second time around (except that doesn’t work for breastfeeding, I discovered, only the labour bit). Why not give it a bloggy name, like PZ, Kos, Blair (very Daytime TV as a first name, that), Pharyngula… well, maybe not…
There are not many boys’ names I really lerve, but I like Robert, and it shortens nicely too – Rob. We have a lot of wanky names in my family: Ninian, Peregrine, Alistair etc. Not really recommended.
January 3rd, 2007 at 3:20 pm
Dunno ’bout that, Haiku.
When you say “Pigsy A”, do you mean [nerd alert]
…the cheekily clumsy, gluttonous & lustful Pigsy played by Nishida Toshiyuki in the first series…
OR
…do you mean the annoyingly petulant, gluttonous & lustful Pigsy played by Hidari Tonpei?
Because there’s a whole Gandhara o’ difference right there, bucko. Besides, you should at this juncture disclose your interest: you’re only backing the pig spirit ’cause he wore a beret. You are sooo transparent.
January 3rd, 2007 at 3:30 pm
Either will do.
), nor is there shame in outlandish headgear.
There’s no shame in being annoying, as you well know by your performances on other blogs (which shall remain nameless
January 3rd, 2007 at 3:44 pm
“Either will do.”
As long as he wears a berray, right?
“There’s no shame in being annoying, as you well know by your performances on other blogs (which shall remain nameless )…”
Sheesh. You can talk. As far as I’m concerned you’re the GenSec of the fucking club, you “fucking activist”.
“…nor is there shame in outlandish headgear.”
Yes, there is. OK, maybe not shame, but mucho embarassmente (if not embarazada).
January 3rd, 2007 at 4:20 pm
I accept your
nominationcondemnation, Comrade. But who are you quoting? Activism implies activity, which I’ve always opposed as a matter of principle.…
Oh, the joys of false-friends in language learning. Next time you’re in the mood for Spanish-related social embarrassment, try ordering your food “sin preservativos“.
January 3rd, 2007 at 4:29 pm
Ninian and Peregrine seem a tad fey, but Alistair is a good, stolid Scottish name. I can’t think of anybody named Melchior in a less-than-respectful way, which is a good sign, but it’s so out there that I’m sure that school kids can think of a way to make fun of it.
January 3rd, 2007 at 4:29 pm
Heh. Check your email, foxy Amy.
January 3rd, 2007 at 4:47 pm
Ninian is a good solid Scottish name too. So are Sholto, Mungo, Murdo and Kentigern.
It’s not necessarily a recommendation, is what I’m sayin’.
January 3rd, 2007 at 5:10 pm
Gee it seems its going to be pretty hard to name the kid and not make him or yourselves look like complete wankers. Good luck.
Bede. (A bit Catholic but I’m not, so who gives a rat’s)
Alfred (Alf)
I guess Mergatroid is out.
Calling him Basil will only embarrass Sage.
Emmanuel (Manny).
Ramon.???
January 3rd, 2007 at 5:19 pm
Bede’s not necessarily Catholic, more just universally Anglo-Celtic. He’s venerated all over the place.
Jesus-María, on the other hand, would be a good traditional Spanish boy’s name, and would beat Cruz Beckham, alas, a popular nineteenth-century woman’s name. Might as well have gone for ‘Edith’ or ‘Chastity’.
Lots of Maltese post-war migrants who settled in Greystanes in Sydney de-wogged the common ‘Emmanuel’ to ‘Bill’. No, it doesn’t make sense to me either.
January 3rd, 2007 at 6:30 pm
I didn’t know about Ninian, but now that I think about it, Peregrine has a Celtic sound. My own middle name is Huw, and my mother went absolutely crazy with my youngest brother (his middle name is Farquhar). Alistair doesn’t seem so out there to me – but then, it does shorten to Alice!
Also:
Eamonn
Zossimus
Lazarus
Zarathustra
Ambrose
Quigley
Boris
Horace
Morris
January 3rd, 2007 at 7:38 pm
Paul John, after Keating. You know you want to.
January 3rd, 2007 at 7:51 pm
oh my god, don’t call him Basil, as if you would. It’s a pity Jan 16 & Elvis is out, but I think you’re probably over being pregnant by now.
Frank?
Ross?
Lennox?
Darcy?
Wentworth?
January 3rd, 2007 at 7:56 pm
Graeme?
January 3rd, 2007 at 8:17 pm
Tyler.
January 3rd, 2007 at 9:27 pm
LIAM: “Monkey’s just an arrogant arse-clown of the first order.”
…Sage was named after Monkey, Liam. “Great Sage of Heaven”.
There are two extremes I think you’d want to avoid. What we’d call in my old profession “child abuse names”. With heartfelt apologies to anyone with such as their own poppet’s name, the following are examples of child abuse names, so called because they dominate the list at the kids’ court:
Tyler, sorry!
Caleb
Haiden, Jaiden, Jayden, Cayden, Aiden etcetera…
Tyson
Jordan
…and so on. Drop me an email if in doubt.
The other is being too effeminate or poncy. Despite having no doubt you’ll upbring a sensitive lad who’s happy to be gay if he wants to be, we live in a bogan land where beatings are handed out to kids with nomenclature like Darcy, Percival or anything French.
I say go with ruthless and brutal world leaders who changed history, like Caesar, Alexander, or William Jefferson.
January 3rd, 2007 at 9:54 pm
Yeah, I know, Armagnac. I stand by what I said: he got put inside that mountain for a *reason*.
January 3rd, 2007 at 10:38 pm
Bruce
(and here’s hoping it all goes well for you!)
January 4th, 2007 at 8:01 am
I didn’t think of Alexander (Alex) ‘gnac – that’s a nice one. Notice how I automatically check the shortened version – that’s a must.
Boychild is called Tasman, and I have to fight teachers who want to spell it Tasmin or even Tamsin, all the time. We actually liked the short version better – Tas (good character in a Nan Chauncy story of my yoof and nickname of a famous Australian artist).
Do you have trouble with relatives who want to use the infantilised “ie” ALL the time? Kenny instead of Ken, Tassie instead of Tas, Francie instead of Frances or Fran… drives me nuts. You wouldn’t have that problem with Zoe. Maybe Noe? Oh no, the French thing…
January 4th, 2007 at 8:02 am
… Although I wouldn’t put it past a ber-loody New Zealander to call you “Zoeyie”
January 4th, 2007 at 9:09 am
Well, this has been helpful, hasn’t it? Thanks, people.
Shortlist on the fridge is:
Giles
Digby
Gus (probably from Fergus)
Louis
Fontaine(!)
Felix
Hal
Rory
Toby
Floyd
Albert
Jethro
Owy also liked “Cassidy” a lot, but I took it off as it’s one of those child abuse names ‘gnac talked about (which I’ve also heard called “notifiable names”)
Tasman is a VERY cool name. And Liam is quite right about Monkey. Kid needs a mind control headband.
January 4th, 2007 at 9:20 am
Oh, it just has to be Digby, doesn’t it?
Once you see that name in print there’s no going back.
January 4th, 2007 at 9:52 am
I vote for Pretty Boy Floyd.
January 4th, 2007 at 10:20 am
Hang on! I have it, dagnabit!
By St. Pamela in a rickshaw I can’t believe we hadn’t thought of it earlier:
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
BATMAN
January 4th, 2007 at 12:19 pm
Free association is always useful in these situations:
Giles – Pommy bastard
Digby – what kind of school shoes will you get him?
Louis – the 15th? (having recently seen Marie A. Should Francis get another job?)
Fontaine – Should always wear flares
Felix – the cat…
Hal – is that Shallow or 2000?
Rory – Roaring 20s
Toby – when he gets a girlfriend his mates will say “Hey Toby, I like your…
Floyd – Come here and say that Pinky
Albert – Needs a sister (Victoria)
Jethro – Tully is a nice nick name
It has to be Gus. Could also be Angus. Or Augustine. Or Gustav. Cos Nossal is a legend.
But if you want a new one, I think Kofi. ‘Cos we need more Kofis in this world!
January 4th, 2007 at 2:22 pm
I already put in my vote for Rory.
January 4th, 2007 at 2:43 pm
“There’s an awful lot of kofi’s in Brazil”
Anything starting with F and surname A will get Sweet FA.
Buster is very practical.
Mainly you want to pick a name that sounds sharp and good when a mother yells it out in the backyard. “Algernon, come inside now darling” doesn’t ring out or cut through the background hubub like “Jack.Inside.Now”
That’s why Buster is a good choice. “Buster. Here.Now” or “Buster. Shut it”
Also keep in mind how the name will sound in the super market with kid chucking a wobbly on floor near checkout.
“Nigel, don’t be naughty while mummy’s busy” will get you an eye rolling sneering small crowd, while
“Jayden, if youse don’t stop kicking Brianna, I’ll smack ya one” will make people think you are one of those who use myspace instead of blogger.
January 4th, 2007 at 2:52 pm
…will make people think you are one of those who use myspace instead of blogger.
Oh, reowww! LOLZ ROFLMAO…
Just found this in the AGE this afternoon. I like the bit about the Secret Name that isn’t divulged until the kid is older. That would be fun. As long as it wasn’t Aldobrantifoscofornio or something.
I don’t think there could be too many Elvises.
January 4th, 2007 at 3:12 pm
Hear hear on the Rory.
One of the sexiest men I ever met was a giant redhead called Rory (no, really), and I’ve always loved the name.
The fun part will be when he’s learning to talk and pronounces it ‘Wawwy’ for a year or so.
That said, I like the Angus vote as well.
(Incidentally, ‘Giles’ means ‘young goat’. I don’t know if that would bother you or not. I mean, hey, my name means ‘The Reaper’ [Thanks mum!] and I haven’t flipped out too severely yet).
January 4th, 2007 at 3:44 pm
My name means ‘drunken cocaine-abusing self-important rock star in vastly overrated brother-band’.
Hence, I spend my days in comments fields attempting wit. Things could be worse.
January 4th, 2007 at 4:23 pm
“My name means ‘drunken cocaine-abusing self-important rock star in vastly overrated brother-band’.”
Was there a Liam in Bros?
January 4th, 2007 at 5:03 pm
Gus/Fergus/Angus is a goodie.
Felix means both happy and lucky – good qualities for any new person.
I reckon kids will find something to laugh about/free associate with for any name you choose – so unless it’s an obvious shocker, don’t stress too much about that.
On other people’s choices I like: My boy was almost a Gabriel, and I know a very cool Gabriel. Ash is great, ditto Rhys.
I’m sure whatever you choose will be perfect.
January 4th, 2007 at 6:19 pm
Son’s name was Euan, gaelic spelling and it was lovely for yelling, starting with a high E going down to a long long N.
I lost count of his friends at school who got into trouble for shortening it to “Hey you”.
January 4th, 2007 at 8:21 pm
If it’s a girl – Bebhinn.
If it’s a boy – Arawn.
Get them off to a nice dark, Celto-Gothic start in life
January 4th, 2007 at 8:53 pm
I’m happy to weigh in on any discussion of names – especially this one as you’ve proposed the kinds of names I like and seriously considered for my two littlies.
LOVED Felix, and my daughter would have been one, you know, if she’d been a boy. Although you might want to know that there are SOOOOO many Felixes now, so maybe not as distinctive as one would hope. Luca was also closely considered but husband had some obsession that it was actually a girl’s name because it ended with the feminine ‘a’ yada yada yada. (Digby was also on our list, strangely enough, which I also adore…)
Another boy’s name I love love love is Remy. Go on! Looks nice along side Sage.
Good luck!
January 4th, 2007 at 10:00 pm
For obvious reasons, we at the Armagnac estate wholly approve of our competitor “Remy”…
I like Tasman- I know a “Tas”, it’s a good direct name yet with a hint of gravitas.
Also a fan of Hugo, Hugh, Harry, Gordon, but I’m a pompous git so that’s why.
Cassidy isn’t too CABS….
The rest…
Giles – Quite like, vaguely camp
Digby – sounds like a very rich kid who’s too lazy to study and DJs part time… which could be cool I guess
Gus (probably from Fergus) – Fergus and Gus are both excellent!
Louis – Beatings behind the school yard.
Fontaine(!) – As above, probably mortality at early age, unless child goes to Cranbrook.
Felix- Cat. Cartoon. Sort of cool otherwise.
Hal- Psychopathic computer, or bloke who moves fridges.
Rory- Not bad…
Toby- more bogan than it first looks…
Floyd- last name only, sounds like ‘flayed’…
Albert- beaten into a pulp first day of preschool.
Jethro- !! Why not just Wolfmother?
Cut sick, this is fun!
January 5th, 2007 at 12:18 am
Jarrah is a good name.
January 5th, 2007 at 8:03 am
Fergus is a cool name. Apparently I’m a bogan at heart (well no surprises there really) because I like Toby too, but I can live with Rory. So just on a quick read Rory seems to be coming out tops, but Gus and variations thereof are pretty popular too.
Too bad if the kid comes out looking like a Rodney.
January 5th, 2007 at 8:32 am
I don’t think that Digby sounds too posh…. because if he turns out to be a footy sort of bloke, a drinkin beer sort of guy, all his mates will refer to him as ‘Diggerrrzzzz’
and he shall be a winner with the ladies.
January 5th, 2007 at 8:51 am
Yairs, I can hear it now:
“Hey LAY-deeez! Get DIG-by!”
January 5th, 2007 at 9:01 am
I worked with a Digby who was nicknamed Diggers, and briefly went out with a boy whose son was called Digby (which ended up being “Diggy” when he was little.)
The only thing I have against Digby is the memory of having my snack of two kiwifruit and a banana fashioned into something highly unworksafe while I was out of the room.
What’s Fyodor’s excuse but?
And is Toby really boganesque? Damn.
January 5th, 2007 at 9:12 am
Q. What’s overrated about Bros, Fyodor?
A. I can’t answer, uh-huh, I can’t answer that
…
Jarrah? A good name? Only for someone who’s not going to mind being called as thick as a plank.
Before you cut sick with the forms, remember that a Toby is the kind of jug that sits behind the bar of un-yuppified pubs, holding nothing but the keys to the keg room.
January 5th, 2007 at 9:12 am
“What’s Fyodor’s excuse but?”
For what? I’ll have you know I was nowhere near your office at the time of the “incident”. You can’t prove nuffink, copper.
January 5th, 2007 at 2:52 pm
Go Albert. Great name. Was Algernon on your shortlist? Algy is the greatest abbrevation name ever, perhaps.
Anyway, fingers crossed for ya love.
January 5th, 2007 at 4:48 pm
Ken is good – along the lines of
‘ken oath’
‘Ken Ayyyy’
On your list I like Gus, Toby and Digby best I think.
January 5th, 2007 at 10:23 pm
Or “Ken Huuuge!!!”
January 5th, 2007 at 10:34 pm
Connor.
Hamish.
Elias.
?
January 5th, 2007 at 10:44 pm
Fergus it is then.
Nice consonant to lead into the vowel of his surname.
Good luck- ours is engaged now, full writeup comin’..
January 5th, 2007 at 10:46 pm
a) it has to be the original Pigsy. the second Pigsy was far too coarse for my delicate sensibilties;
b) Monkey deserves every Ohm Mani Padme Um he got, and some more;
c) Tripitaki was utterly wet;
d) all the Giles I know are utterly wet;
e) yeah, the name Toby has gone to the dogs a bit;
f) the only Digby I knew was a complete wanker;
g) Remy was on my shortlist for The Dinghy, but I put it in the ‘Picked On In The Schoolyard’ list;
h) Rory means red head or red king, so maybe wait till you see what colour pops out!
January 5th, 2007 at 11:04 pm
For what it’s worth – choices in asterixes:
Giles (THE BUTLER)
Digby (can’t put my finger on why, but I know it’s wrong – try saying it with a cold and you’ll see)
Gus (makes me thing of gastro, or caterpillars)
Louis (nice, if said as Lewis, poncy if Louie)
Fontaine(!) (#$@*!!!)
Felix (every Felix I’ve known has been terminally depressed, thus proving nominative determinism only works for surnames)
* Hal (love it)
* Rory (love it too – girl Rories are ‘Aurora’ – had a lovely redheaded computer nerd friend at school with this name. Oh, did I tell you, I want it?)
Toby (in my experience unable to wear anything but rugby shirts and moleskins)
* Floyd (wasn’t he the crazy guitarist from the Muppets? Could work …)
Albert (see Giles)
Jethro (do you really think the flute has a place in rock and roll? Nope, neither do I. Don’t think it’s a name to be saddling little boys with either)
Tasman (Boguns of the first water – you need to go south to find that out).
But surely, you can’t seriously be soliciting names from teh blogosphere?
Anyway, thinking of you in this imminence. Wishing you could do it in a coma and just wake up to a nice washed baby, but as I know that’s not so, I wish you hotpacks, massages, drugs when you want ‘em, discreet stitching (preferably none at all) and only the most gentle of after-pains.
January 6th, 2007 at 12:33 am
Hannibal.
Murdoch.
Templeton.
Bad Attitude.
Can you tell what I’ve spent my holidays doing?
January 6th, 2007 at 11:55 am
Good luck, my Mum’s best mates both called their second sons Rory, one of them instructed me “Give the kid a good solid name that people can spell”. Good solid names with standard spellings are now rather rare. John, for example, is almost extinct.
It’s important, because our kid’s surname is a bugger and he’s going to be spelling that for people all the time.
My name, incidentally, means “born to unimaginative parents in the late 70s”.
January 6th, 2007 at 1:50 pm
But surely, you can’t seriously be soliciting names from teh blogosphere?
But it’s helpful to get people’s unmoderated reactions, don’t you think? I was leaning pretty heavily to Toby but that bit about the moleskins – on top of everything else – has killed it pretty dead. I can see a git with his collar turned up right now.
January 6th, 2007 at 3:10 pm
I have proven my stupidity in naming children, so will keep out of that debate (except to wonder why Gough hasn’t had a look in), but wanted to say good luck to you and to the little one.
January 6th, 2007 at 5:05 pm
Had a dog called Toby, also used to have a horse called Tasman. Knew a man called Tas in PNG, I think my mother had an affair with him, not sure, I was only three at the time, but for some reason we took a very dangerous drive along a precipitously high, windy narrow track up into the Highlands to visit his house and Dad didn’t come. Dad was a Dick but they’re not very popular these days.
January 6th, 2007 at 5:35 pm
Well, I like Toby. If you go for Gus, make him Fergus rather than Angus? Angus is good, but Fergus is better.
Speaking as someone who often has to spell out not one but both of her names, do call the little tacker something that’s spelled exactly the way it sounds. Otherwise he will spend a lifetime resenting it. I know.
Would it be giving too much away to say how many syllables there are in the surname and where the stresses fall? The rhythm is the main thing that would matter to me. That, and not calling him George Andrew Nathaniel Gordon Steven Toby A…. , or some other unfortunate acronym.
January 6th, 2007 at 5:36 pm
Oh and of course … absolute best of luck with everything.
January 6th, 2007 at 8:20 pm
I think Fontaine definitely has to go on the list of ‘will get him bashed up in the playground’ , probably Floyd as well.
Hope everything goes well and bubs doesn’t decide to make you wait too long after his due date.
January 6th, 2007 at 9:26 pm
I’d like to take credit for being the first to link Toby with boganism. Cheers.
“Louis (nice, if said as Lewis”
AARGHGH!!!! As in “lewis, put the rock down and get off your sister”.
…
Hmmm… what about James-Bond as a hyphenated first name?
January 7th, 2007 at 8:59 am
I wondered about Gough too.
January 7th, 2007 at 10:58 am
Well I think ancient Sumerian gods are definitely an untapped source, and may well strike fear into parents, teachers and anklebiters alike. Might I suggest:
AN – ANU
NINHURSAG – KI
ENKI OR EA
GILGAMESH
GUGALANNA
HUWAWA
ENKIDU
January 7th, 2007 at 6:13 pm
Surname will be Andrews, Ms Cat.
My sister is pushing Jethro, which is also one of my faves. The hillbilly connotations are a bonus: “Jethro, don’ make me come in thar and git you out!” being today’s main one.
Also Christine – no. Just no.
January 7th, 2007 at 7:13 pm
“Mummy, mummy, all the kids at school are making fun of my name.”
“Well don’t blame me dear. Here’s a list of the email addresses of everyone responsible. Take it up with them instead.”
So will you be liveblogging the birth?
And when can we expect to see YouTube footage of little Marmaduke Pendragon Faulkner emerging into the world?
January 7th, 2007 at 8:53 pm
Shouldn’t that be Marmaduke Pendragon the 3rd = MP3.
Anchors the name in time.
January 7th, 2007 at 9:39 pm
Frankie, check your email. Book! Drink!
January 7th, 2007 at 9:57 pm
Oh come on. An-Anu Andrews. It just rolls off the tounge.
January 8th, 2007 at 12:56 pm
Heh! Gilgamesh Andrews.
January 8th, 2007 at 9:36 pm
I’ve changed my mind – I think you should go for an
E name now. Then the family initials will be ZOES. And you can write that on all your xmas cards forevermore.
Enki is not so bad – especially if the surname is nice and standard.
I have to spell out both my names too – painful, but with an easy surname you can have an interesting first name. It is harder with boys tho – the interesting names are a bit wankier.
Best of British!
January 8th, 2007 at 11:27 pm
“Jarrah? A good name? Only for someone who’s not going to mind being called as thick as a plank.”
Wrong, Liam. That’s too many mental steps away for your average schoolyard putdown.
Jarrah is a hardy, strong wood with a beautiful colour with uses from railway sleepers to sculpture. It’s Australian (Aboriginal in fact), it’s an unusual name without being pretentious, and it’s easy to say but not easy to shorten.
January 9th, 2007 at 7:49 am
“Jarrah is a hardy, strong wood with a beautiful colour with uses from railway sleepers to sculpture. It’s Australian (Aboriginal in fact), it’s an unusual name without being pretentious, and it’s easy to say but not easy to shorten.”
I reckon the kid’d get through about half of that before copping a knuckle sandwich.
BTW, the obvious putdown is to associate the name Jarrah with that disgusting instant chocolate confection produced by the Swiss pharmaceutical giant, Novartis.
“Do you believe in miracles, Hot Chocolate?” would work well for both boarding school and prison environments.
P.S. You misspelled “Liam”, fatfingers. It’s actually spelled H-a-i-k-u, you lying commie taxeater.
January 9th, 2007 at 8:03 am
So … whats happening??????????? Stickybeaks want to know!
January 9th, 2007 at 9:00 am
Not very bloody much, Amanda. Due today, but no signs. I’ve got into this weird mental state where I’ve kind of given up on it coming. Owen assures me this is an error.
And Seepi, I was an early fan of “Ezra”, which got nixed by O.
January 9th, 2007 at 9:05 am
It’s meant to sound nice
But how does it sound shouted?
“Toby, put it down“!
…
Your best health, Ms Zoe.
We all await the details
Breathlessly nosy.
January 9th, 2007 at 9:55 am
Just sent you an email, Zoemonster.
January 9th, 2007 at 10:20 am
Fyodor, I giving reasons why the name is a good choice for Zoe, not how the child should theoretically defend it!
January 9th, 2007 at 10:34 am
I know, ff. I’m just taking the pith.
January 9th, 2007 at 10:53 am
It’s amazing isn’t it that you can end up wanting to be in labour?
Personally, I found 6 to 7 hours just about right – not too fast and not too long. Despite the pain (and it comes and goes) you really don’t want to be anywhere else but focussed on the new little one. I remember all my labours – I’ve had six – and waiting impatiently for them to come.
Best wishes
January 9th, 2007 at 1:01 pm
1 Andrew (heh)
2 Stephen (strangely compelling)
3 Marmaduke (perhaps a second name, after fontaine)
4 Boony
January 9th, 2007 at 1:35 pm
Boony, eh? Cricket is a whole new, erm, ball game. There’s Stephen, of course, which is indeed strangely compelling. But you could also call him Punter or Pup, or Merv. Or Boof.
But probably not Murali or he’d be ‘Chucker’ before he got out of nappies.
‘Warwick Armstrong Andrews’ sounds like someone who could take over the world.
January 9th, 2007 at 1:36 pm
PS — the Armagnacs have a little girl. Come on, woman, get on with it.
January 9th, 2007 at 2:07 pm
I’ve always liked Euan if you want an E name. Sending the baby ‘come on little one, time to wake up’ thought waves. Best of luck.
January 9th, 2007 at 2:09 pm
Hope all is going well. Having babies is such hard work. Thinking of you heaps!
Word from the classroom – Toby is very common, as is Louis. I like the originality of all the others, although Giles may (rightly or wrongly) earmark you as a Buffy fan
January 9th, 2007 at 2:40 pm
*starts slow handclap*
January 9th, 2007 at 6:54 pm
*clap*
January 9th, 2007 at 7:02 pm
Yes, why are we waiting?
January 9th, 2007 at 8:51 pm
I hope this means little Ebenezer Jethro Fontaine won’t go on as he started, always running late for everything.
*clap*
January 9th, 2007 at 9:17 pm
What do we want?
Contractions!
When do we want them?
Soonish!
*clap*
January 9th, 2007 at 11:37 pm
Two! four! six! eight!
Now for a change it’s a bloke running late!
*clap*
January 9th, 2007 at 11:40 pm
Are we there yet?
*clap*
January 9th, 2007 at 11:42 pm
+++I was leaning pretty heavily to Toby but that bit about the moleskins – on top of everything else – has killed it pretty dead. I can see a git with his collar turned up right now.+++
So make it “Tobias” and make sure you bring him up to be always called by the full name. I like “Tobias”.
I had a friend at school called “Berin”, which is apparently a Dutch name.
That’s about all I’ve got in the locker at the moment.
January 10th, 2007 at 6:48 am
CLAP!
January 10th, 2007 at 9:33 am
Somebody go around there and tickle her until she starts…
January 10th, 2007 at 10:06 am
CLAP!
On this issue, my support is resolutely behind the party of labour.
CLAP!
January 10th, 2007 at 5:59 pm
Yes, we have no bambino.
Also, “Happy Feet” is boring but pretty.
January 10th, 2007 at 9:16 pm
nabs I thought I had replied. I’ll be in CBD t’mora. After seeing Casino Royale I’m lusting after a martini, a tailored dinner suit and Ms Vesper.
January 11th, 2007 at 8:05 am
*clap*…
*clap*???
January 11th, 2007 at 8:43 am
Second name HAS to be Danger.
*They call me Jethro. Danger’s my middle name.*
January 11th, 2007 at 9:52 am
Tobias is a good name for a lefty, you know, To Bias.
But seriously, it sounds good. ‘This is Tobias Andrews, coming to you from Canberra’
January 11th, 2007 at 4:05 pm
Is Godot on the list yet?
January 11th, 2007 at 4:50 pm
We want baby photos!
When do we want them?
Now!
Or at an appropriate junction post-birth. Your call.
*Clap*
January 11th, 2007 at 4:54 pm
What did I miss?
- Open the bod doors, Hal.
- I can’t do that, Zoe.
Oh, and Fyodor, he can’t be Batman because…. I’m Batman.
January 11th, 2007 at 4:58 pm
“We want baby photos!”
Unless it’s ugly of course. In which case post a photo of an otter sleeping in a hat or two kittens drinking from a saucer.
January 11th, 2007 at 8:31 pm
Anyone heard from Zoe today?
January 11th, 2007 at 9:53 pm
Zoe, you know that silence at this stage is bound to be misinterpreted … here’s hoping!
January 12th, 2007 at 7:44 am
*checks in, orders one of what FXH is having, sans drink and suit*
Are we there yet?
Harry, I really hope Zoe doesn’t have one of those “V” experiences by giving birth to an otter or twin kittens. That’d be unfortunate.
January 12th, 2007 at 8:00 am
No otter, no kittens, no baby. Also, no recollection why I thought this whole natural birth thing was the right way to go. Horrible flashbacks of the birth of Sage and my nephew.
I was quite sure it would come yesterday because it seemed very unlikely that Sage would be able to stay over at my sister’s and us see Volver and go out for dinner without major interruptions. Volver is very good and vindaloo is NEVER hot enough.
January 12th, 2007 at 9:39 am
ho ho ho!
hey hey hey!
Zoe’s baby out today!
*clap clap clap clap clap*
January 12th, 2007 at 10:34 am
I believe at this point you’re supposed to drink olive oil mixed with lemon juice and whoosh the baby will just pop out like that! Or is that for gallstones?
Gimme a B!
Gimme an A!
Gimme another B!
Gimme a Y!
Gimme a BABY!
*Does amazing triple twist half pike sommersault with a twist off the shoulders of another cheerleader, lands, does the splits, waves pompoms, and the crowd goes wild*
January 12th, 2007 at 11:22 am
Zoe, your atavar with the lady with her legs in the air should be egging you on. Is it any comfort if I tell you that I was a full 14 days late in being born?
thought not.
Can I put a vote in for Leroy? It is like Roy, but cooler. And realise how special this is because it is the one boys name I am keeping for in case I ever have a son of my own.
Also, don’t scratch Louis off the list just yet. It might just need a tweak with the spelling. I have a second cousin (now aged about 9) who is called Lewis and it suits him very well as a boisterous, dramatic, hilarious little boy. And does not have to remind anyone of french royalty.
Also, “Archie” and “Walter” are two which surprised me when cousins gave these names to their sons, but which have worked remarkably well.
Good luck! Hope it comes soon!
January 12th, 2007 at 1:30 pm
good luck Zoe, hope it’s going okay. leave you with some inspirational lyrics from the immortal Salt ‘n’ Pepa…”push hard, push it! oh, push it real goooood…”
January 12th, 2007 at 2:18 pm
Ooh. Baby. Baby. Ooh.
January 12th, 2007 at 2:39 pm
Got an e-mail from a friend in Alice Springs today, just had her third baby – a little boy. Well I guess little is a relative term since he weighed in at over 11 pounds. No caesar, all natural (I hope she had drugs and lots of them).
January 12th, 2007 at 2:42 pm
Sorry if that last comment sounded like complete bitchiness, I meant it in an ‘don’t worry it won’t be an 11 pounder’ way which I now realise is really irrelevant because it’s labour and however the baby… Okay I’ll just leave it there while I can still see over the top of the hole.
Hope things happen for you soon. Maybe the change in weather might help.
January 12th, 2007 at 3:32 pm
Andrews… things change drastically of course once the surname’s involved, big influence on ours… let’s see…
Better it ends with a consonant I reckon, for flow, or a solid vowelly sound… let’s have a bash…
Hugh Andrews
Alistair Andrews
Fergus Andrews (I reckon Fergus is a winner meeself)
William Jefferson Andrews (go on, admit that rolls off the tongue with gravitas- he’ll be a dab hand with the ladies too!)
Ah, fun…
January 12th, 2007 at 4:04 pm
adding a *clap* for good measure…
don’t forget, the due date is approximate speculation and only about 5% of babies manage to get it right
January 12th, 2007 at 4:08 pm
Borring!
I’m off to watch Cronenberg’s “The Brood” now.
*clap, clap, clap*
January 12th, 2007 at 11:41 pm
Would it help if I played Hugo Montenegro’s theme from ‘The Silencers’ REALLY LOUDLY!
Hey, it helped palpitate the onscreen delivery of Matt Helm.
And hey, hey, now that’s a really butch boy’s name – “Helm”
*clap*
Are we there yet? Or is your uterus and etc now shyly dilating and winking in the face of all this peanut gallery/Bay 13 barracking?
*clap*
Y’know, I’m starting to feel a liddle bit sorry for young Chester Cholmondeley Idaho. 20 years time when he’s swaggering around, all these rather twee yet tangy threads will then be goggled by his current significant hot others – and with much laffs that he will share with a queasy gritted grin.
Not to mention all those cute and veddy veddy embarassing baby pics that Mummy posted on flikr and won’t remove.
*clap*
January 13th, 2007 at 10:48 am
I think it’s a very sensible baby. Why be a Capricorn when you can be an Aquarian?
(im in ur belly, scoping ur aquarian)
January 13th, 2007 at 1:44 pm
Pineapple juice appears to *clap* have worked for Mrs ‘Gnac….
January 13th, 2007 at 5:51 pm
16 January fast approaching (Elvis Presley’s birthday, folks)
January 13th, 2007 at 7:32 pm
At the risk of being jeered senseless for self-promotion, none of these. Please, none of these! (It’s just a community service announcement, really.)
January 13th, 2007 at 8:14 pm
No, Laura! We have passed Elvis Day (it’s the 8th) – he was going to be Elvis Augustus if we managed to crack that one. And we’re safe from pretty much all of your (shocking) list redcap – except maybe Jet as an abbreviation of Jethro.
January 13th, 2007 at 10:58 pm
re: redcap’s list. I’m super glad at least one kid in SA is called Atticus. I would never be (crazy)brave enough but the idea’s quite attractive.
January 13th, 2007 at 11:09 pm
good luck zoe!!
already lots of good names to choose from – but i’ll throw in a few more, right at the last minute to confuse you both…..
Curtis
Wesley
Dexter
Eddy
Zeke
Flynn
Max
Declan
Sam
Charlie
Riordan
Banjo
January 14th, 2007 at 11:31 am
Never doubted you for a minute, Zoe
And Amanda, I love the name Atticus just for the To Kill a Mockingbird association, but I don’t think I could bring myself to actually give it to a child. It would make a rather spiffy cat’s name, though.
January 14th, 2007 at 2:00 pm
January 8th!!! of course – I mixed it up with the other Elvis date, which is Dorian’s birthday. Must’ve been wishful thinking, and I don’t even have the excuse of being pregnant to cover my confusion.
January 15th, 2007 at 9:24 am
I know the one they call Atticus! Two degrees and all that
January 15th, 2007 at 4:39 pm
Hey, I like Jo’s suggestion of Max…
Max Andrews
Got Pineapple juice yet?
January 16th, 2007 at 10:24 am
There’s an Atticus in my town. He’s two, small and blonde and looks nothing like Gregory Peck. What were his parents thinking? They are both English, so it doesn’t even sound good when they say it.
Imagine Atticus said in Alabamian – ‘Ahttikhus’ – versus it said in Strine – ‘Airticcis’.
January 17th, 2007 at 12:23 pm
Hey Zoe,
Best of luck – I hope the thing pops out soon – but keep scissors handy
Red wine worked for me. I’m not much use on the name thing – except I’d steer clear of Riordan (have a relative who spent his life explaining that it wasn’t pronounced reeordan)
Anakin
Percival
Dougal
See…. useless.
Good luck!
January 31st, 2007 at 4:20 pm
I only read halfway down the comments but already I can tell you that I’ve known real people called Petal, Sequoia and Balthazar, not to mention Llewellyn.
But not Jethro. Good name, congratulations.
February 6th, 2007 at 12:42 am
Yeah, yeah, yeah, very cute fotos etc. But the holiday’s over now. Dump the spawn in a ventilated container and get back to blogging.
He’ll leave home eventually but we’ll be around like forever.
September 29th, 2010 at 1:12 pm
Sure love google, cool website. Keep up the good work.
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