Tuesday, October 23rd, 2007...1:21 pm
Election prediction haiku!
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The mainstream, waiting -
No baseball bat for you, but
they clutch a gold watch.
No bugger ever takes me up on it, but I’d love to see some election haikus in the comments.
Updated: OK, I take that back.
55 Comments
October 23rd, 2007 at 1:43 pm
The voters wait, five weeks
the polls go up, and down
the result, unclear.
October 23rd, 2007 at 1:44 pm
Or more hopefully,
Kevin is ready
The electorate will vote -
It is now the time
October 23rd, 2007 at 1:45 pm
Howard waits with nerves
the axe hangs above his head
just wait til it falls
October 23rd, 2007 at 1:46 pm
Oh, Good On You, Rebekka!
October 23rd, 2007 at 1:47 pm
Sorry, this is just way too much fun!
On election night
doing the victory dance
the True Believers
October 23rd, 2007 at 1:48 pm
Or:
On election night
Crying, he concedes defeat
Rodent slinks away
October 23rd, 2007 at 2:12 pm
My heart is yearning
to see Fraser ride again -
I want chin wobble!
October 23rd, 2007 at 2:29 pm
a tax policy -
another tax policy -
cleared throats, debate starts
October 23rd, 2007 at 2:36 pm
walking by my lake
a man shouts, “bloody arsehole!”
bowed shoulders, sad face.
October 23rd, 2007 at 2:42 pm
new! education
revolution will have no
lists of toff losers
October 23rd, 2007 at 2:45 pm
A cynic writes the following, which is based on the University’s motto (that’s USyd. What, there’s another one?):
This fulfills all the requirements of modern haiku: Seasonal reference, 5-7-5; and a disconnect between two parts, but both parts inform the other.
Haiku is easy. Limericks are the true art form, and I continue the Spring theme:
No, really, you’re too kind.
October 23rd, 2007 at 2:51 pm
I always thought a limerick had to start with there was a young/old man/woman/etc from location x.
Such as:
There was an old rodent from Kirribilli
His policies were ridiculously silly
While running against Kevin
He will lose in 07
And cry like he rubbed his eyes with chili
October 23rd, 2007 at 2:57 pm
Naw. The beat and the rhyme and silliness are the important things. I could put this comment in a limerick but then I wouldn’t get any work done.
October 23rd, 2007 at 3:11 pm
The treasurer from down in Higgins
(That sly one who breakfasts on kittens)
Say’s Labour has fudged it
and stuffed up their budget
A fib he constantly embiggens
October 23rd, 2007 at 3:34 pm
Now that, Zoe, is brilliant. Breakfasts on kittens.
*snorts*
*writes and authorises letter to electorate about local member’s breakfast habits*
*defends letter to John Faine and denys being muppet of ALP head office*
October 23rd, 2007 at 5:20 pm
how this wait drags on
the rodent will be gone soon
but not soon enough
October 23rd, 2007 at 5:21 pm
A Senator for New South Wales
Bill Heffernan derides and details
the foibles of those
who get up his nose
I’d like to remove his entrails.
October 23rd, 2007 at 5:25 pm
Repeat after me -
“A cunning politician”
Good to be with you
October 23rd, 2007 at 8:06 pm
A rodent from old Kirribilli
Made promises increasingly silly
In electorates marginal
Demographics, target ‘em all
Purses and wallets are fill-y.
Sorry, I’m supposed to be cooking dinner, will do better later (I hope).
October 23rd, 2007 at 9:01 pm
I stopped concentrating at ‘breakfasts on kittens’
stomach
muscles
hurt
October 23rd, 2007 at 10:09 pm
We all hold our breath,
Daring not to think too hard,
Wishing for the change.
October 23rd, 2007 at 10:20 pm
Is a change coming?
I go between hope and fear
Just like spring rain, yes.
It’s a Brisbane haiku (and my first, btw).
October 24th, 2007 at 9:52 am
A red-headed lassie from Lalor
Sounds like she grew up in a trailor
But her policies have bite
And she’s ready to fight
So the Liberal Party can’t nail ‘er
October 24th, 2007 at 10:09 am
HAHAHAHA!!
And it seems that I was right about the superiority of ye limerick, too.
October 24th, 2007 at 12:10 pm
The vital qualities of a limerick are a) scansion, and b) filth. Thus:
Say that five times fast.
October 24th, 2007 at 12:13 pm
Ah, but the filth has to be in the mind:
An attractive young lady from Bude
Went for a swim in a lake
A bloke in a punt
Stuck his oar in her ear
And said “You can’t swim here, it’s private”.
October 24th, 2007 at 12:27 pm
Mmmm, smutty. Let’s lower the tone a bit more.
October 24th, 2007 at 12:36 pm
I laugh and not cry
At your choice between two clones
Why? I’m a Kiwi.
(just think you guys might be getting your hopes up a little too much…)
October 24th, 2007 at 12:42 pm
OK, easing up on the dirtiness now.
October 24th, 2007 at 12:43 pm
We patriots know
Kiwis have few clues about
K-Rudd; only sheep.
October 24th, 2007 at 12:47 pm
PS Just think that perhaps you’re not paying enough attention to the detail - saying sorry to the Aborigines, a referendum on four-year terms and a ban on government advertising for three months before the fixed election date, an actual climate-change policy, more money for education and childcare and lovely details like Medicare provider numbers for midwives so that women have genuine choices about maternity care are not insignificant, and are a pretty clear differentiator between Rudd and Howard. Also, Rudd less icky and has better taste in ties.
I suppose being a New Zealander it’s not so important to you, given you won’t be voting.
October 24th, 2007 at 12:50 pm
Should have known better
After years of troll-face dude
Not to mock their hopes
October 24th, 2007 at 12:52 pm
Aussies miss the mark
We converted years ago
To dairy cattle
October 24th, 2007 at 1:09 pm
I have to live here too so yep, it matters to me. I just hope that the following prediction isn’t borne out:
http://www.smh.com.au/news/opinion/a-smarter-vision-for-the-future-not-ruddy-likely/2007/10/23/1192941064156.html
I think it should be a worry for you lot too, and not glossed over in the urgent ousting of Troll-face.
October 24th, 2007 at 1:30 pm
Very poor scansion in that last comment. Kills the lolz, don’t you think?
October 24th, 2007 at 1:47 pm
to choose between the
parties’ dirty politics
is hard, but tell me
is Ben Cousins in
the running, I am sure he
does party harder
October 24th, 2007 at 2:14 pm
PM Ben Cousins
Unique plan for climate change
No one wears a shirt
October 24th, 2007 at 2:17 pm
It’s tough to make limericks scan,
It helps when it rhymes, if you can.
But should your verse fail,
Leave the sting for the tail:
You fucking filthy tax-eating denialist commie cunt!!!!!!
October 24th, 2007 at 2:20 pm
Perhaps this might help Liam.
October 24th, 2007 at 2:23 pm
Expectant with glee
Bennelong will do it right
Kick him in the teeth
October 25th, 2007 at 10:29 am
This one’s for you, Gordo:
I saw this thread here yesterday,
And knew he’d make his way.
For he cannae resist,
A poesical twist,
In a political auto de fé.
October 25th, 2007 at 12:50 pm
Huh. Everybody expects a Spanish Inquisition, these days. To quote Brooks’ History of the World vol.1,
And my confession:
…
Forgive me, Z, for all that smut,
I thought I was being funny, but
You really ought
With no great thought
To exercise your right to cut.
October 26th, 2007 at 9:22 am
I’m still waiting for Part 2 to come out on DVD, LL Berray.
We all think it’s beaut,
That Liam’s smut’s so cute,
For what he doesn’t know,
That Zoe’s bound to show,
Is that cunt is spelled cnut.
October 26th, 2007 at 10:53 am
Yep, that was me Dad
behind PJK* last night
one more silver head
*pbuh
but I hope we prove him wrong
with a sweeter prize
October 28th, 2007 at 8:39 pm
When asked to pen a haiku
Kevin said “what, me too?”
“John is real gone
And his swansong
Is basically a last chance to throw poo.”
To which John Winston Howard replied
“Whatever young red Kevin said, he lied
Now here’s a core truth
Rates won’t go through the roof
But if they do, Costello’s the clown that cried.”
Warm frisky spring wind
Rattles windows and pushes scents
Time to clean the house
October 28th, 2007 at 10:38 pm
Can I just nominate Aleeshar’s work at 23/10/07 2.36pm as the first haiku in history containing a hyperlink to the smh?
That was classy.
October 28th, 2007 at 10:42 pm
Howard J is blue
rampant is Antony Green
the map turns to red
October 28th, 2007 at 11:28 pm
life was not meant to
be easy my friend but it
can be delightful
(Apologies to GBS.)
October 30th, 2007 at 1:55 pm
Well!
I haven’t had that much fun reading a combox in months.
October 31st, 2007 at 10:45 pm
Dude, you’re famous.
Some bigwig advertising guy was being interviewed by Virginia Vitriolic today on ABC702 on the role being played by Youtube, Myspace, blogs etc in the election and he mentioned you. I damn near crashed the car into the roundabout at the Mall as I thought I know her! I know Crazy Brave!
So lame.
And no haiku.
Sorry about that.
November 1st, 2007 at 3:45 pm
for Liam
The winds of change blow
Either way, at 2am
Tears into his beer
November 1st, 2007 at 3:47 pm
There was a young man/woman called/from —–
Who had an enormous —–
When asked “Is it —–?”
She/He said “Yes, —- —-.”
And then put/hit it with a —- in John Howard
November 7th, 2007 at 11:09 am
Spring, and hot air gusts.
More election promises -
Vote the rodent out.
November 10th, 2007 at 6:40 am
Meet the new boss,
Same as the old boss.
The Who, Won’t get fooled again.
November 11th, 2007 at 10:54 am
Can’t believe I’ve not noticed this thread.
A cunning old master of the stunt
(Excuse me, my language is blunt)
It’s curtains for Howard
The mendacious coward
We shall soon see the end of this clown
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