crazybrave

To celebrate the joy that is finding out that Liam can resurrect your neglected blog after you’ve casually deleted it, I present you with my annotated needs, via Pavlov’s Cat, Bernice Balcony and Uncle Google:

Zoe needs To Assert Dominion Over Her Pod
Indeed, the Pod is a malestorm of coughing, deep sookiness and explosive diarrhoea. In fact if anyone fancies swapping pods for a few days, please do leave a comment.

Zoe needs a middle name
Correct. Not only is “Ann” dull as dishwater – lacking even an elevating “e” – I was named for my paternal grandmother, who turned out to really be called Nancy all along. Things could have been worse, as my maternal grandmother’s name was Ethel Mary.

Zoe needs a stylist and food
Correct, but not in that order.

Zoe needs to wear pants.
Oh, pants to that.

Zoe needs (Bristol) is on Facebook.
I don’t need Bristol, especially not if it’s Bristol Palin. And yes, I am on Facebook, but only fleetingly these days.

Zoe needs an intern.
And a dry cleaning account.

Zoe needs a reality check.
Because if I don’t, this kind of shit will happen.

Zoe needs more Space at Zac Posen Fall Winter Fashion Show.
So she can get a good backswing up on her handbag and take a few of these skinny-legged idiots out.

Zoe needs a sister but she’s not getting one.
My 70 year old mother would heartily agree, while pointing out that Zoe already has a perfectly serviceable sister.

Zoe needs a good home.
Housetrained, affectionate, vaccinated and wormed – c’est moi.

omg I’m pacing like a caged beast. Bless Bernice for tagging me with this meme, the rules of which are:

1. Link to your tagger and post these rules on your blog.
2. Share 5 facts about yourself on your blog, some random, some weird.
3. Tag 5 people at the end of your post by leaving their names, and links to their blogs.
4. Let them know they are tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

So here’s some fascinating facts about me:

1. I used to be shy to sing before I had a baby to sing to all the time. Now it makes me happy to sing.

2. I will tear up at the polling booth tomorrow. I do every time. It’s a bit embarrassing.

3. I’m actually an enormous sook.

4. I hope John Howard wins Bennelong so I can watch him suffer and my outlaws can have Maxine as their MP in 12 months time when he slinks away and starts doing active seniors classes with the YMCA. My friend Steevy came around today and he suggested that there was a German word that sounded kind of like this.

5. The sum total of my involvement in student politics at uni was the year that my friend Katie and I formed “Anarchists Against the Election”. She painted a big banner and we sat next to it outside the polling booth attempting to discourage people from voting because there was no point.

I’m not going to tag anyone because I’m like that, but leave a link in comments if you’re inspired to share.

In Sydney on the weekend for Jethro’s cast to get changed, and hopefully the final anaesthetic (although he’ll be in some kind of contraption or another for a long while to come. And aren’t they attractive!).

We stayed with Owen’s sister’s family. This is their cat, Dibble:

That picture doesn’t really give you an idea of his size, but you can get an idea from this one.

I knew that leaving lots of Sage’s art stuff in the carport was a great idea – what happiness it is to come home from an outing and find this outside your house:

Soon the whole world will speak lolcat, and peace will reign throughout the kindgom.

lol.

Presidential history nerds and lolcat lovers should go here.

This one is the work of TheCharmerUnderMe.

A seasonal meme, from Pavlov’s Cat:

1) Do you have a tree, and if so what is hanging on it?

We bought a very fine pine tree from the Farmers’ Market a few weeks ago; the smell for the first few days was enough to justify the purchase (not that it was expensive – $30 I think).

As for decorations, there are a few red and gold ones, and some tiny blue disco balls. All the decorations are at the top. This is why:

Note evil eyes.

2) What’s the most successful bit of Christmas cooking you’ve done so far?

I glazed a little ham for a pre-holiday supper with Ampersand Duck and her family. Mmmm. (Glaze is described at my flickr page for the keen). Much to Owen’s amusement I often take pictures of me dinner. We had it with baguettes from the French bakery, endive from the garden, sharp cheese, mustard and a great deal of Duck’s husband’s sour cherry relish.

I also made Pavlov’s Cat’s Fresh Cherry and Toasted Almond ice cream. It was sensational.

3) And the least successful?

By virtue of being due to have a baby in two weeks, I have done nothing else.

4) Which bit of your Christmas shopping are you happiest with?

Sage is thrilled with his “Lightning Bequeen” play tent. He spends hours in it, so I am thrilled too. Owen loves his three volume Woody Guthrie collection.

5) Have you opened any of your presents yet? What was it / were they?

Running a bit late with this meme, obviously. Perfume (two kinds!), book vouchers and cash. I may also have bought myself an exceedingly expensive saute pan. May have.

6) Do you have any bad Christmas associations that will have to be tackled?

I like to call them my family ; )

7) What’s your favourite carol? Why?

Not a big carol person. Amanda from Flop Eared Mule sent me a fantastic compilation of Christmas songs, and the Sufjan Stephens songs on it have blown me away. I’m off to buy his Christmas record when the shops settle down.

Which part of your Christmas plans is most likely to go awry?

I had feared point (6) may create iss-ewes but all was well. Yay.

9) What’s your most favourite thing about Christmas?

Watching my son’s pleasure.

10) What’s your least favourite thing about it?

That it occurs when the sun is in Capricorn, because I am a Cancer and more than usually prone to overemotional ridiculousness then.

11) What Christmassy thing have you seen or heard in the street or on the teeve or in the blogosphere that has

(a) touched your heart

A group of Muslim people in Sydney who spend Christmas day cooking and delivering food to street people on behalf of a Christian charity so the usual volunteers can spend Christmas with their loved ones; an article about drovers who can’t celebrate Christmas because there’s nowhere with enough feed and water for the mob to stop.

(b) hit a nerve

I have remained un-nerved this year.

or (c) made you want to barf?

Standing in the toy aisle at various shops was a bit rough.

12) Who do you wish you had contacted to say Happy Christmas but haven’t so far?

Oh dear, I’m not so good at that sometimes. Many.

I hope everyone had a very enjoyable time and that they and their loved ones are well. It was a very good Christmas.

Procrastinatory memes don’t work so well when you’ve given everyone at work your blog address so they can find out about the joy of blogging. But Sage is all tucked up in bed, Owy’s having a beer after cricket training and it’s quiet and still.

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?
Must get haircut before baby is born and I don’t get another haircut for six months.

2. How much cash do you have on you?
Can I reach my purse? No? About $40 I think.

3. What’s a word that rhymes with “DOOR?”
Klaw, my dear deceased cat, seen here making Ampersand Duck’s smart black clothes all furry:

RIP Mr Klaw

4. Favorite planet?
The Moon is hands down my favourite celestial body, but earth wins for planets.

5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone?
(a) I already said I can’t reach my purse
(b) The battery’s flat. It’s probably message bank, that’s what it usually is.

6. What is your favorite ring tone on your phone?
It meows. The cat doesn’t like it. There is only one “song” as such, and it is REM’s “Losing my religion”. I find this choice incomprehensible. If it was “The End of the World as we Know it”, that would be my ringtone.

7. What shirt are you wearing?
An old long sleeve white bonds t-shirt that miraculously still goes around my middle.

8. Do you “label” yourself?
Only to the extent that I am an ENFP with my sun in Cancer in the 4th house and a Taurus rising. Also, my moon is in Leo.

9. Name the brand of the shoes you’re currently wearing?
I am chillin’ in the Target slipperz.

10. Bright or Dark Room?
Bright in daytime, dark at night. Natural-like.

11. What do you think about the person who took this survey before you?
I like them all so much I have made them into a “playlist” (which is a very exciting new feature in Bloglines) called “Ladies”.

12. What does your watch look like?
It’s simple and elegant, a silver Fossil one that was a 30th birthday present from my bestest girlfriends.

13. What were you doing at midnight last night?
Probably padding down the hallway to wee, again.

14. What did your last text message you received on your cell say?
See 5; I’m sticking with “call messagebank”

15. Where is your nearest 7-11?
There’s an all-night service station in the next suburb.

16. Whats a word that you say a lot?
“O RLY?”

17. Who told you he/she loved you last?
Sage, as I kissed him goodnight.

18. Last furry thing you touched?
I pushed the cat off the table at dinner. Does that count?

19. How many drugs have you done in the last three days?
Only coffee.

20. How many rolls of film do you need developed?
Rolls of film? Get with the times, meme writer dude.

21. Favorite age you have been so far?
I’ve been surprised how many people said 27. 27.

22. Your worst enemy?
I don’t really have any enemies. I have had, but I got over it. Mind you, they were scared. I liked that.

23. What is your current desktop picture?

It’s a year old now, and he looks quite different, but I love this picture of him.

24. What was the last thing you said to someone?
“I love you too, darling. I’ll come back when you’re asleep and give you another kiss.”

25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to fly what would it be?
If I had a million bucks I could pay some other sucker to fly for me.

26. Do you like someone?
I like most people.

27. The last song you listened to?
Some Afro-Caribbean thingy that was on Radio National.

28. What time of day were you born?
2:20 am

29. Whats your favorite number?
27

30. Where did you live in 1987?
Near Lake Macquarie, just south of Newcastle. I was in Year 11.

31. Are you jealous of anyone?
Sometimes, but usually fleetingly.

32. Is anyone jealous of you?
I expect so. Heh. For real, I am very grateful to be expecting another child. I know how hard it is for some people who would love to have kids, and it makes me sad that they struggle. Sometimes when strangers look at this big round belly I see sadness.

33. Where were you when 9/11 happened?
My flatmate got a call late at night and came downstairs. We had cable so we watched it again, and again, and again. Owy and I hadn’t been together for very long, and I remember him talking about how frightening he found it, and how marvellous I thought it was to hear a man talk so easily about being afraid.

34. What do you do when vending machines steal your money?
I don’t buy stuff from vending machines. If they sold schoolgirls’ panties I might, just to piss off the old pervs.

35. Do you consider yourself kind?
Yeah, I am. I’m also grumpy, but I try.

36. If you had to get a tattoo, where would it be?
My friend Pammy and I have discussed this. If I had to, I would get a sacred heart smack in the middle of my chest. Something like this:

Not in my freakin’ armpit, that’s for sure:

37. If you could be fluent in any other language, what would it be?
I used to be pretty fluent in spoken Portuguese. I wish I could write and read it well. If you’re going to have a second language I think it’s good that it’s a largely “pointless” one.

38. Would you move for the person you loved?
Yes.

39. Are you touchy feely?
Oh yeah.

40. What’s your life motto?
Oh, fuck it, why not. This motto can get you into a bit of trouble.

41. Name three things that you have on you at all times?
Pen. Something to read. Fetus Foetus.

42. What’s your favourite town/city?
Bermagui, I think.

43. What was the last thing you paid for with cash?
Fish and chips for dinner. Sage did not eat the fish. Rotten child.

44. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper and mailed it?
Ohh, long time. I do send parcels with notes a bit.

45. Can you change the oil on a car?
No, but I pick boyfriends well.

46. Your first love: what is the last thing you heard about him/her?
He and his wife and kids were just about to go to the States to visit his family.

47. How far back do you know about your ancestry?
Far enough for me not to believe in the old days. My maternal grandmother was illegitimate, and was brought up as her mother’s sister. Never, never, did she call the woman she and everyone else knew was her mother “mother”. My great grandmother pissed off when my maternal grandfather was one, leaving him and his two year old brother with their father. She married another man, who was (according to his descendants, who have traced us recently) such a bastard that “he wouldn’t have fed ‘em”. They had ten more children. My paternal grandmother was sent to relatives on a farm when times were tough. She got no love and was treated like the help. She told me stories about the old Irish women with corncob pipes, and children tied to potties with water thrown on them each time they tried to get up before they’d done a poo. She used to deliver bread with a pony and cart. They used to stick the “stiffies”, the stale loaves, in between the steaming fresh ones and pass them off.

48. The last time you dressed fancy, what did you wear and why did you dress fancy?
I wore two beautiful shirts by friend of friend designer Brigitte Thorn. This one underneath and this one on top. Oh, and the only pants that fit. I needed a little boost.

49. Does anything hurt on your body right now?
No.

50. Have you been burned by love?
I wouldn’t have it any other way.

contributin’ to the memesphere:

(And here’s the source of this genius incarnation of cats+intertubes hilarity, via Rob at LP)

VERY EXCITING UPDATE: ZOE AND AMPERSAND DUCK GO NUTS STOP CREATE FLICKR GROUP “TEXT ON UR CAT” STOP ALL CAN JOIN IN STOP SLIDESHOW HERE STOP